


Kageyama's Quest

by Pinktoria



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Crack, Oh My God, This Is STUPID, W H Y, eggplant edwardson is my fave, fo shizzle my nizzle, idk how to tag this because its so fucking random, idk what this is, its not even well written, lassie references, the most popular girls in school - Freeform, what
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-23
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-08-24 03:24:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8355121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pinktoria/pseuds/Pinktoria
Summary: "SHOUSHIZZLE MY KAGEYIZZLE!!!!" Snoop yells."What the fuck." Says Kageyizzle. "What is it Snoop??" Kageyama goes on a journey full of many trials and tribulations (copyright Ace Attorney), and discovers at the end of his journey that it wasn't the treasure that mattered, but the friendships he made on the way.





	

Kageyama was practicing tosses alone as usual because mmmm he a lonely boy when suddenlu (kawaiiu blushu blushu animu desu) Snoop Dogg comes running in in a tuxedo with his brides-to-be, Scooby Doo and Drake.  
"SHOUSHIZZLE MY KAGEYIZZLE!!!!" Snoop yells.  
"What the fuck." Says Kageyizzle. "What is it Snoop??"  
"IN THE WELLIZZLE!!!!!!!!!!!" Yells Snoop Dogg. He is very distressed.  
"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?!" Kageyama throws a fucking volleyball at Snoop Dogg.  
"He called us on our cellphone." Says Drake. Drake, Snoop Dogg and Scooby Doo all share a cellphone. "Late night when he needs our help." Drake is dancing weirdly.  
"It's not even night." Kageyam says to Drake. Kageyam is done with their shit.  
"Ruh roh!" Says Scooby Doo.  
"Fuck off, Scooby." Kageyama glared at Scooby and flicks a Scooby Snack at him.  
"IN THE WELLIZZLE KAGEYIZZLE!!!! MY NIZZLE SHOUSHIZZLE FELL IN THE WELLIZZLE!" Snoop screams at the top of his lungs.  
"AAAAAAA!!!!!" Says Scooby.  
"What's that, boy?" Kageyama asks. "Hinata fell down the well?"  
All three of the spouses nodded.  
Kageyama ran out of the gym, taking the volleyball with him. But he accidentally ran into Yachi.  
"I had so much to live for!!" Yachi screams as she falls to the ground.  
"Oh, sorry Yachi." Kageyama says.  
Yachi throws up, then tries to get up. But her spaghetti falls out of her pockets. Her knees wobbled and she started crying. "My mom made me that spaghetti." She sobs.  
"Fucking Gamestop..." Says Kageyama, glaring at the sky and making the Dinkleberh face.  
He helps Yachi put her spaghetti in her pockets and then helps her stand. "Oh, sorry Yachi. Have you seen Hinata?"  
"He was going to the park last time I saw him." Yachi says, wiping her tears.  
"Okay, thanks." Says Kageyama.  
Kageyama starts running to the park. "Hinata?! Where the fuck you at, my man?!" He yells.  
"No swearing at the park." Takeda-sensei tells him from where he is sitting on the bench and feeding pigeons.  
"You have no authority over me if we're not at school." Kageyama glares at him.  
"Oh." Says Takeda.  
"HEARD YOU TALKING SHIT!" Yells Ukai, falling out of a tree.  
Kageyama slowly leaves.  
"May Sonic be with him." Ukai prays to Shrek.  
"No Ukai, Shrek is love Shrek is life is old now! You can't make that reference anymore!" Takeda cries.  
"Fucking watch me." Says Ukai.  
Kageyama looks behind a bunch of trees, but he still can't find Hinata.  
"Ohoho?" Says Kuroo, peeking out from behind a tree. "Ohohoho?" Bokuto says, popping out from a tree on the other side of Kageyama.  
Kageyama did not see either of them when he checked those trees before. Where the fuck did they come from?  
"It's the genius setter." Bokuto points out the obvious. Way to go, Bokuto, want a medal?  
"The King of the Court." Kuroo adds, nodding.  
Oikawa jumps out of nowhere.  
"It's Tobio-chan!!"  
Kageyama raises an eyebrow. "What are you, the three trolls under the bridge?"  
Oikawa cries.  
Norway from Hetalia comes out of nowhere and points finger guns at Kageyama.  
"If we're trolls, doesn't that make you a goat?" Oikawa asks, crying.  
"The jokes on you. Goats are awesome." Kageyama tells him. "So what the fuck do you three want?"  
"Well we were sorta gonna do the Three Billy Goats Gruff thing but you beat us to it."  
"Oh." Says Kageyama. "Wanna help me find Hinata? He fell in a well."  
"Okay." Says Bokuto.  
So the four of them travelled deeper over the river (and into the woods, to grandmother's house they go).  
But while they were walking in the woods with no one around, they all realized their phones were dead.  
It was Kageyama who spotted him, out of the corner of his eye. "Shia LaBeouf!!" He whispers to the captains.  
He's following them. Kageyama would say about 30 feet back.  
Suddenly, he drops down on all fours and starts sprinting! He's gaining on them!  
"Shia LaBeouf!!!!" They all scream.  
The light from the sun starts flickering. The team captains plus Kageyama were getting cornered into a mass of land that they hadn't seen before.  
"We're gonna die!" Yells Kuroo.  
But Shia Surprise! It wasn't Shia LaBeouf! It was just the Hash Slinging Slasher!  
"Nosferatu!" Kageyama scolds good naturedly at Nosferatu.  
The four share a laugh while the Hash Slinging Slasher walks away, grumbling "I don't get paid enough for this."  
Then they all jump and high five freezeframe in the air for about five minutes.  
They all land and stand there for a moment.  
"Hello there. My name is Eggplant Edwardson." Says Kageyama.  
"What the fuck." Says Kuroo.  
The group continues on their journey.

"Who's that Pokémon?!" Kageyama, Snoop Dogg, Drake, Scooby Doo, Yachi, Takeda, Ukai, Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa, Norway from Hetalia, Shia LaBeouf, and the Hash slinging Slasher scream.  
There is a shadow that looks suspiciously like Pikachu. 

Hi! Billy Mays here for OxiClean, the stain specialist, powered by the air you breathe, activated by the water that you and I drink. It’s Mother Nature-approved and it’s safe on your colored fabrics.  
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We sold millions of our two-and-half-pound tubs for $40. But if you call now, we’ll cut the price in half, only $19.95. You’ll also receive the Squirt Bottle and the Super Shammy absolutely free.  
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But call in the next 20 minutes, and we’ll super size your OxiClean from a two-and-a-half pound tub to a whopping six-pound bucket! Nearly triple the amount, but you got to call now!

"Who's that Pokémon?!" Kageyama, Snoop Dogg, Drake, Scooby Doo, Yachi, Takeda, Ukai, Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa, Norway from Hetalia, Shia LaBeouf, and the Hash slinging Slasher scream.  
There is a shadow that looks suspiciously like Pikachu.  
"It's... Ushiwaka!!!"

"Where o where is my Hinata." Kageyama says with frowning.  
"Why are you asking me, I don't know!" Says Oikawa.  
"Don't be a bitch, Trashykawa." Says Iwaizumi, flying in like a ninja.  
"IWA-CHAN!!!!!!!! Where did you come from?!?!?!?!?!" Yell Oikawa.  
"Somewhere over the rainbow." Says Iwaizumi.  
"Way up high?" Oikawa asks.  
"Yes-"  
"And the dreams that you dreamed of..." Kuroo sang.  
"Once in a lullabye," Bokuto joined.  
"Stop." Says Iwaizumi. "What are you guys even doing?"  
"We're looking for Hinata. He fell in a well." Kageyama tells Iwaizumi, crying.  
"Do not worry, Kageyama." Says Iwaizumi. "We'll find that short-ass little drug dealer pickpocketing bitch."  
"What" Says Kageyama. "Has he ever done any of that................."  
"I doubt it, but I have anger that I need to get out of my system. You stupid little thot-ass bitch motherfucker."  
"Oh." Says Kageyama.  
After enough time, the five come to a clearing with a well in it.  
"Hinata?!?!?!?!" Kageyama yells, running over to the well. But when he looks in, there's no Hinata! Kageyama cries.  
"Wait... look at that you stupid-ass king." Iwaizumi points at the roof thing of the well.  
"There's a hole!" Yells Kuroo, once again pointing out the obvious.  
"Hi guys!" Says Hinata, coming up behind them.  
"OH WHAT THE FUCK!!!" Yells Kageyama.  
"Oh, did I scare you?" Hinata asks.  
"No." Says Kageyama, scared.  
"Hinata? How did you get out of the well?" Bokuto asked.  
"Well... I called Snoop Dogg, Drake, and Scooby Doo when I fell but help was taking too long to get here. So I jumped out."  
"What the fuck" says Kuroo.  
"Did you go to the moon?" Asks Bokuto.  
"Yes." Says Hinata.  
"Well, then I was like, no." Says Kuroo. "But then you were like, you are. And Kenma was like, no but then you are! So long story short, he's kinda my boyfriend now?"  
"I'm... so pretty?" Says Oikawa.  
"You really are!" Kuroo grins. "Do you have, like, volleyball practice today?"  
Kageyama walks past them to look into the well again.  
"Um... excuse me?" Says Oikawa.  
"Helloooo???" Says Kuroo.  
Kageyama looks up from the well and goes like, "What?"  
"Who the fuck are you?" Oikawa asks.  
"Who the fuck are you?" Counters Kageyama.  
"I asked you first." Oikawa glares at him. Kuroo and Bokuto come up behind him, nodding. Hinata looks like he wanted to jump back into the well. Iwaizumi looks like he wanted to go with him.  
"I asked you second!" Yell Kageyamo.  
"Oh! Oh... He's Oikawa Tooru? Duh. Captain of Aoba Johsai, the Grand King, part-time model." Bokuto says. Wow, where's that 1st Place Stating the Obvious Award?  
"Oh." Says Kageyama.  
"Who. The fuck. Are you?" Says Oikawa Tooru, Captain of Aoba Johsai, the Grand King, part-time model.  
"Okay stop." Says Iwaizumi. "Can we just go home?"  
"I say we leave them here." Says Hinata.  
"Or push them in the well." Bokuto adds.  
So they do that. Oikawa Tooru (Captain of Aoba Johsai, the Grand King, part-time model) and Kageyama don't even notice because they're still bickering.  
Hinata, Kuroo, Bokuto, and Iwaizumi all go home. They go through the woods, waving at the Hash Slinging Slasher and Nosferatu, and past Ukai and Takeda, who are making out on the park bench, and past Yachi, who is still standing in the same place before, and into the Karasuno gym, where they sat down with Snoop Dogg, Drake, and Scooby Doo by the fireplace and ate a big box of Scooby Snacks.  
And they all lived happily ever after.  
The end.


End file.
